Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize