Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
