I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
