Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize