I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need to calm my uterus...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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