I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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