hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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