Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize