i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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