I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
