I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
