Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
