Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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