he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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