did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
