ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
