i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
