Sry I called you an 8
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
