I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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