Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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