why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
