worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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