I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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