shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
