It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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