he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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