i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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