Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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