I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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