I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
