I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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