my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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