Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
