Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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