It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
