Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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