dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My balls are so social today.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
