Your face is a jimmy john
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
