dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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