I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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