this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
