You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
