can u get pink eye on your cock?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize