Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
