She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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