she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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