I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
