She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
