If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just found puke in my bra..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
