Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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