I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
