people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize