On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
