Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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