I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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