she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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