Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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