I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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