So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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