And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Buhtt sex?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
