Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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